Where is my husband right now? He is at his moms house, mowing her yard. We have a baptismal service this evening and yes, the yard must be mowed. Do I mind if he helps her? No...that's not really what the problem is. He is healthy enough to go outside and do yardwork. She could use the help, because she suffers from her own share of medical problems. So no, I'm not upset about him helping her. Not exactly. But I AM uspet at this situation. I'm sure his blood sugar was high when he woke up this morning. Which means he didn't eat breakfast and probably didn't take any insulin since he would be physically active. And while I don't really know what it was (if he even checked it) and I'm pretty sure it was high. Before dinner last night his blood sugar drops to 45. I get him oj to drink. Then I tell him we will wait 15 minutes and check it again. So what does he do? He goes into the kitchen and eats oreos. How many? I'm not really sure....at least 6. I took his last cookie so try to stop him from eating it. Success! Well, until he got 2 more to make up for it. I tell him that he needs to stop because we don't need to overcompensate. He says "Well, I'm gonna have to take insulin anyways." Every time it drops this is his mentality. But I'm not even finished. About 15 minutes after the oj we check again and its at 102. So what does he think he should do? Eat pretzels of course! About 20 minutes later it's off to his parents house for dinner. (And no, they do not understand diabetes at all. They think that a type 1 with a pump is worse off than a type one who doesn't use a pump. And since he doesn't use a pump they think he's not as bad off as others.) They make a dinner of hamburgers and hot dogs, french fries, baked beans, and chips and dip. Hmm....maybe we can add a few more carbs to dinner tonight? How about it we have ice-cream for dessert! Even better. He doesn't eat in moderation-he enjoys his food. Not sure if he ate before bed last night. I'm sure he did. But anyways, back to what I was originally saying...
I don't mind if he helps. This is what I mind. He has been out of work for over a month. He has helped clean the living room one time. And he started a load of laundry once. (As in put it in the washer and started it, left it for me to finish) He's cooked probably 4 dinners. Because of my husband and my girls, meals are necessary. Breakfast lunch and dinner have to be prepared every day. Sometimes breakfast is a bowl of cereal, often times lunch is a sandwich, but these meals HAVE to be prepared every day. Laundy for 4 people. Cleaning up the house, sweeping mopping vaccuming, cleaning bathrooms and bedrooms, taking care of the birds....all of these things have to get taken care of. On top of me doing photos to bring in extra money. So he asks-"what are we doing for lunch? What's for dinner? Have you washed the laundry because I can't find my basketball shorts. You really need to mop the floors, when was the last time you did it? How does the house get to be such a mess? How long are you going to work on photos? Are you about done yet? Can we go to the store because I'm bored. I don't want to just sit around the house." He wont help clean up after dinner, rarely takes out the trash. Drops/spills things on the floors and refuses to pick them up because he doesn't see where they go. And yes, he can see just fine. If he can play the ps3 for hours and hours and hours (you get my point) a day, he can see food that he drops at his feet. So my question is...why can you help your mom at her house but refuse to help me, your wife, at our home? Don't you care? Yes, I'm the stay at home mom, but guess what-you are too right now. In fact, I'm actually earning alittle bit of money so YOU should be doing the household chores. UGH!!!!!!
Oh I hear ya. Especially on the low Oreo munch fest. I have asked why when I get up in the morning an entire bag, a big bag of chips will be completely gone. (when we have chips that is) he explained that when he is low, he get very hungry and is not thinking right. He will just eat and eat and eat sometimes. We try not to keep junk in the house but when we do and he has a low, it disappears pretty fast. As far as the housework and the spills, it's the same here but I suppose I let him have the excuse that he has retinopathy and is blind in one eye and has neuropathy in arms and legs. Hang in there xoxo
ReplyDelete"You really need to mop the floors, when was the last time you did it?" Wow, what nerve!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, oreos and chips are my husband's favorite "drug of choice" when he is low as well. If I don't buy them, he makes a special shopping trip to pick them up. Juice boxes worked for awhile, but then he went right back to all the garbage.
And YES, your hubby should be doing housework, laundry, etc. right along with you! NOT asking why you "don't" do it. Maybe then he would understand that all those chores don't just magically happen by themselves. Good luck; I share some of the same frustrations here.
Thanks for the words of encouragement! I buy a few snacks for the girls, but he buys himself snacks too. If it's not killing me and I am willing to make changes, why is it that he can't? Guess I will never understand.
ReplyDeleteThere is no excuse for his behavior especially in front of your girls. This type of behavior is very harmful to children and may determine what kind of poor respsect they believe they should get and will get later on. I think if my h had acted like this when our children were still home, that would have been the line in the sand that I would not cross.
ReplyDeleteI am an adult with choices. Children do not have those choices so it falls upon adults to protect them. I would suggest you think about what this is doing to your girls.